The Skinny on Being Fat

A million things on my mind to write. A plethora of information should you decide to take your own journey into weight loss. First and foremost, this isn’t a journey, it’s a lifestyle change. The Guru has been trying to tell me that and I am just now accepting it.

on the inside...

Yeah, there's a skinny woman being re-born

Secondly: all the food that I thought I loved, it’s gross. Most of it is blah and really not very flavorful. Chocolate? That’s a whole nother issue altogether. I am still trying to kick it. Finding balance in loving chocolate and changing my lifestyle is difficult. Today my aha moment was: instead of telling myself that I can’t eat it I am telling myself that yeah, I can do that. It has re-framed my automatic response of, “oh yeah? watch me eat this chocolate.” Why do I still have it around me? Because we apparently have a chocolate fairy in our house. When the last of it is gone more creeps into the house through birthdays or co-workers bringing it into the office. Why couldn’t this happen with money instead of chocolate?

It's chocolate: and it's evil.

Thirdly: I have no idea how to walk. If I walk like normal than I am like a big clunky fat person without any grace. If I walk all hip swaying like then I am walking like a hoochy mama. Neither of those do I want to be. So I notice if I engage my core (my stomach and lower back primarily) then I don’t slouch and I don’t walk like a hoochy mama. This is a good thing. I feel really uncomfortable with re-learning how to walk. It is something that I can add to the list of things I didn’t anticipate experiencing once I lost weight. I do have a list, it’s all in my head. I should write it down somewhere…oh wait, that’s what I am doing!

Awkward! See the slouch?

Last, but certainly not lease: Why didn’t anyone tell me how fat I was? I look at pictures of myself from even back in 2007 and I was so fat. This brings me to how do you tell someone they need to lose weight? How can you safely and lovingly let them know that they really aren’t all that? Is it my business to say anything? Do I go about my way living my lifestyle while people I care about are hurting themselves? Heck no. I can’t do that. I wanted something different but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t want to be fat. My vision somehow has changed…then I saw myself as beautiful but now looking back I was fat. Really fat. I was still beautiful, please don’t get me wrong. I just was so unhealthy. I have some grief around how bad it had gotten. I do think my mom tried saying something and I didn’t hear a single word of it. šŸ˜¦

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck....then it's probably fat like a duck!

There you have it. Some of my thoughts over the last week as to what to share. Moving forward I have picked the races I want to run through September. I will run the 8k at the Shamrock run, then a 5k at a Summit I am attending, then the Lackamas 1/2 Marathon, the Prefontaine Memorial run 10k, then back to the race that started it all the Miles4Mileage 5k. That brings me through September. Now I have to figure out the rest of the year.

Any suggestions? What races do you run that you enjoy? Still looking for reading suggestions, do you have some? Thanks for reading and drop me a line!

7 thoughts on “The Skinny on Being Fat

  1. Congratulations on your decision to change your lifestyle; acknowledging that it was a change of lifestyle and mindset was a big turning point for me. A year and a half ago, I joined Weight Watchers on-line and lost 50 lbs, and have kept most of it off (though my own blog for the next few months is going to be me talking about losing what I gained back and hitting my final goal (about 45 pounds away). I’ll be posting several of my own recipes – especially some clean, healthy chocolate recipes – as well as tips and reflection (on the good and the bad days); feel free to stop by and share!
    Best wishes šŸ™‚

  2. I lost and have kept off, for almost 2 years now, 45 lbs. It is definitely a lifestyle change, a constant choice you have to make. Working out is key for me.

    • When I started I was just shooting for an immediate goal of losing weight. Now I would really like to step it up and see what I am capable of. That’s the change…I don’t wallow in being lazy, I was rather good at that! Great job on keeping the weight off! You look just incredible!

  3. Hey girl! I love your posts! You are so inspirational! Keep up the good work! I am super proud of you! I have tried to keep the same idea in mind about how I could have something, I just choose not to because I want to rebel when told no too! It helps a lot! I tell my clients that all of the time, but needed the reminder myself today, so thanks! I am so happy that you have found something that works for you! That is so important!

  4. Dear Dayleighs,
    Love the tag name. What you need to remember is that losing weight and changing your lifestyle is exactly like recovery, no one can tell you you are fat and need to loose weight any more than you would or did not listen when they told you to get clean. Only you can control your path and until you are ready it cannot be done. Just remember how many years that took, so in that mindset you are really ahead of the game. I love your determination. Your loving MOM

  5. This is a great post! 4 years ago I did the weight watchers thing and lost 50 pounds. I’ve looked back at old pictures and have thought the same things you’ve expressed here. Staying healthy, particularly consistently eating healthy, has been a challenge. Moderation is my biggest weakness. Good luck with your running goals! I hate running, and only do it because the Army makes me šŸ˜‰

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